So, I have been enjoying the comfort of my bra for the past few weeks but know that it’s time to buy new ones. I also know that I have be fitted properly because years ago Oprah Winfrey told us on National TV that ill-fitting undergarments effect how clothing fits, thanks Auntie Opie.

Being fitted properly is an odd experience, it means that the sales lady actually enters the fitting room with you and measures your boobs.

when I was a teenager I was an A cup, then in my late 20’s while I was nursing my son I was a double E cup, honestly I had no idea that bras even came in an EE cup, then when I lost weight I became a D cup. All that inflation and deflation means I need support.

My sales lady, Sara brings me 3 different bra styles. We are both standing in the dressing room and I have put on the first style. I tell her that I am concerned about spilling out over the cup. She tells me that a great way to see if the bra fits correctly is to bend over and simulate picking up a pencil off of the floor and then to stand up and extend my arm as if reaching for something on the top shelf, then put down my arm, stand up straight and look in the mirror to see if anything has shifted.

As I was reaching down “picking up the pencil” I began to shimmy while talking to Sara. I told her I wanted to see if I would spill over doing this move. She asked me if I need to shimmy often? She asked me what kind of work I do where I would need to shimmy.

Ok, good point, I never shimmy in the course of my day and I also don’t swing from a pole.

After picking up the pencil, a quick shimmy and a reach for the top shelf I find out that my boobies remained in place. P.S. now I have 2 new slightly uncomfortable bras but my breasticals are high and perky, like they were during the 1980’s. Oh, and by the way I have decided that I need to incorporate a shimmy into my everyday life because it makes me laugh and reminds me of the humorous time I spent with Sara.