Our beach house vacation together is over and I feel the loss of my sisters even before we part. We had a great time. My niece Carly calls talking, chirping. We chirped from the moment we woke up until the moment we said good night to each other. The only time we stopped chirping was when we were chewing, and there was a lot of chewing. Prior to the trip we talked about eating salads, proteins and healthy carbs. First day on the beach we brought fruit and water, by the third day we schlepped 2 grocery bags filled with potato chips, pretzels, Doritos, corn chips, cheddar and pretzel flavored goldfish and trail mix. We also had vodka cocktails which we disguised in coffee mugs. Oh well, the diet will begin again when we get home. The break from the routine felt great and necessary.

On the first day of vacation we greet each other with so much excitement. We hug and kiss and I say, “how are you” and she smiles and lies and says, “I am good, how are you?” and then I smile and lie and say, “I am fine”. It is later in the day and after the first cocktail that we get into the real details of our lives. No one’s life is perfect. We all have difficult and complex personal issues. We chirp, laugh, cry and support each other. We have lived long enough to know a few things. Life has its ups and downs. There are things that happen that can feel unbearable and exquisitely painful. We all have scars and calluses from living and as I get older I really understand the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” My mother would say, when you feel you are at the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on. She is right, I am strong and things do somehow work out.

I am realizing that life is being able to hold the pain and the joy at the same time, put a smile on your face and move forward.

Also, an infusion of my sisters helps to sustain me.